Big Me to Talk About It

I was recently reunited with an image of myself from a mere 24 months ago, an image at the time that I had considered an improvement of the person I was just 12 months before that. I was stunned silent-rendered speechless-mouth gaping blown away. It takes nothing like a slap in the face with an eleven second video of your past to wake you up. Anyway, this video I'm about to show you was me in August of 2006. We were in New Philadelphia, Ohio when we took the kids to a community park (yes, it has rides) after spending the good bit of the weekend at Aaron's grandmother's hospital room. She died a few days later. Anyway, while we were there, Aaron captured this gem:




The first thing I notice is how self-conscious I am. My posture is atrocious and I cannot quit fidgeting with my clothing. I'm obviously uncomfortable.

And then I start to laugh. I don't care! It does not bother me, in fact, it is quite the opposite. I would not share if I felt humiliated or ashamed. That is not who I am, not inside, and not out. I just never took the time to see the contrast of the then versus the now.

And the contrast is amazing. I hadn't realized how my hard work for the last two years finally is starting to show. And now that I've started a sprint routine, I feel different, too. Seventy pounds is a lot, and I've taken it rather lightly.

I'm not seeking praise, confirmation or reinforcement, nothing of the such. Some of the friends I've made in recent months have never seen the person in the video. Here, though, is a time-line of me: December 2005, Summer 2006, and Fall 2008:



Yikes! Okay, don't laugh TOO hard :)